Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not always something that is easy give, whether it is to forgive yourself or someone else. Although, forgiveness is an important step in letting go of the past and moving forward. When we have hurt someone or someone has hurt us the pain can linger and ultimately end up consuming us in guilt, fear, stress, anxiety or any number of negative feelings. Do not be naive to assume that when you are consumed by these negative feelings that it does not effect other aspects of your life, including those around you. You can not change the past, because it is forever frozen in time. As hard as this can be to accept it is a fact, what happened in the past will remain there for all eternity, until it is ultimately forgotten. Carrying all of your baggage from the past can make it difficult to carve out a healthy future. Even though the past is forever frozen, the present is ever changing and the future is still yet to be written. Forgiving what can never be changed can be difficult, yet a certain inner freedom will become unleashed once you do. Your past helps to build the person that you are, but it does not have to dictate who you will become. You can not change the past, but you can change the present to create a better future. ~OnElOvE~

My Dog Buddy...Lost But Never Forgotten

It is amazing how our little four legged friends can bring us such love and comfort. They are our protectors, secret keepers, comforters and best friends. They help us to be brave when we are scared, smile when we think there is nothing left to smile about, and help to bring out the very best in us. Sometimes dogs briefly touch our lives, leaving much too soon, while others become a long chapter in the story of our lives. I was lucky enough to have my life touched for 12 great years by my Brittany Spaniel Buddy. While most dogs spend the majority of their lives in one place with trips to the dog park and occasional car rides, Buddy was an adventurer. He loved to travel, and was rarely ever left behind. He frolicked in the lakes and rivers in New Hampshire, ran in the open desert canyons of Arizona, chased birds in the fields and played in the creeks in Ohio, ran and swam at the beaches of New England and rolled in the grass of Boston Common. For almost 12 years he was faithfully by my side, sharing in all of my adventures, sorrows and triumphs. He was always happy and forever curious...like a cat, he had 9 lives! On June 7th 2011 while I was flying home from Aruba, Buddy ran into the woods and was never seen again. Despite my best efforts, he was never found. Losing a pet is hard, especially when they have been your faithful companion for so long. I guess I was spared the agony of having to put him to sleep, or to find him passed away on my living room floor. I don't know his reasons for leaving, maybe he was sick and I didn't know, maybe he thought I wasn't coming back, maybe he went to find me and got lost....whatever the case he is no longer by my side and I miss him terribly. As sad as it is, it is almost fitting that he is out there somewhere...whether it is here on earth or running in the fields of heaven. My only prayer is that wherever he is, that he is happy and knows that he will always be a part of me. He was my first dog and taught me so much about myself and the world in general. Buddy...wherever you are...you are in my heart and I love and miss you everyday. XOXO ~OnElOvE~

Healing After Tragedy

In the wake of the Aurora Colorado movie theater shooting I wanted to dedicate this post on my blog to not only these victims...but those who have lost their lives to violence all throughout the world. As horrific as this tragedy is we need to keep in mind that this is happening not only in our own back yards but in countries all over the globe. Let's not think in terms of our nationalities but in as humans of this earth that we all must share. Too many people lose their lives everyday for no fault of their own and we should take a moment to remember them. It is frightening to think that there are those who believe that taking another persons life will in someway help their cause. Life is so fragile and it is important that we remember that, and encourage others to do the same. Our humanity is what makes us human, makes us different...our compassion and empathy for others is strong, which is such a positive thing. When something like a murder happens, whether it be a homicide, massacre, genocide, etc., it makes us pause and remember how fragile we really are. But something else that makes us human is our ability to gain strength from those moments that bring us to our knees. Yes, we could go on through life scared of becoming the victim of a senseless crime, but to live in fear is just not an option. We need to keep in mind that we are no more vulnerable today than we were yesterday or will be tomorrow. As long as there are those out there who do not value human life, we are all at risk of being caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. Grieve for those who have lost their lives too soon, and carry their memory and light on by facing the world with a new found appreciation for all the little things that make life memorable. Let moments like these bring into light what is important in your life...hug your loved ones a little tighter, reach out to those who you have wanted to reconnect with, mend broken fences and take time to notice the rainbows after the rain storm.

Ending Marijuana Prohibition Once And For All

I strongly believe in ending marijuana prohibition. I'll ask you to take the stereotypical image of a lazy teenager, smoking pot and eating cookies out of your head for this piece. There are many professionals out there who enjoy smoking marijuana, who can not be as outspoken on the subject as they would like to be for fear of persecution. I like to think that I represent these individuals, who may not be able to take a public stance but can certainly privately vote in elections without the fear of disapproving eyes. There is a movement taking place to end marijuana prohibition, and I firmly believe that my generation will see this happen. The move to decriminalize marijuana is one that crosses all races, genders, religions, socioeconomic status and cultures. For those who cast a disapproving eye, you should keep in mind that a similar movement happened in the early 1900's that allows you to have a glass of wine with your dinner. Alcohol prohibition not only occurred in the US but also in other parts of the world such as Finland, Russia, Norway, Hungary, Australia, Mexico, Europe, the UK and parts of Canada and Denmark all throughout the late 1800's and early 1900's. What most of these places experienced during this time of prohibition was a sharp increase in crime, thus eventually leading the the end of alcohol prohibition. As I see it now, history is merely repeating itself but in a different form. As there are supporters of ending marijuana prohibition there are also those who are against it. I personally feel as if most of these individuals are not only fearful and skeptical of the unknown, but have also been misinformed and misguided as to the benefits of marijuana. Legalization would not only bring change to individuals but to society as a whole. Individuals would no longer be arrested, and have their criminal record permanently scarred  all over being caught with a joint or two. This can really do severe damage to someone's career, family and life as a whole. Alcohol causes many problems in society including traffic accidents, violence, domestic problems among other crimes, yet it is legal. Marijuana does not have such extreme effects on those who use it, and it rarely leads to any problems other than legal issues for possession and/or use. The medical benefits of THC have really come into the spotlight in the past few years, which has allowed some states to approve medicinal marijuana use and open dispensaries for patients to pick up their prescriptions.  It has been scientifically proven that marijuana helps patients of a variety of ailments and illnesses. It can help ease the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis, arthritis, asthma, glaucoma, among countless other illnesses, and has also been found to destroy cancer cells in the body. Many patients find marijuana a welcome relief from traditional narcotic pain medication which can become extremely addictive and can cause damage to your body with long term use. It seems quite asinine that a plant that can do so much to benefit people is illegal, and this mindset is quickly catching on. We would be naive to believe that the "war on drugs" has been effective in preventing drug use and abuse in society. The government is wasting time and money arresting everyday people and treating them as criminals because they choose to smoke marijuana either recreationally or medicinally. Ending marijuana prohibition would not only give our jails and judicial system some relief, but would cause a decrease in crime, and add to the countries revenue. So I am still puzzled as to why there are those out there who believe that decriminalizing and legalizing marijuana is a bad idea. The government could earn more in legalizing, controlling and taxing the marijuana industry, then they are paying out to stop it. Taking it even one step further....I also wonder why industrial hemp has not been legalized to farm in the US? Hemp has so many uses and can make products like soap, makeup, lotion, plastic, paper, paints, clothing, concrete, and even food, among countless other uses. The hemp plant can be regrown much quicker than a tree and not only helps to save our planets resources, but also cuts down on the amount of pollution on land, air and sea. The marijuana plant has so many uses it is amazing that it is still illegal. The ending marijuana prohibition movement is gaining momentum and many states will have bills on the ballot this upcoming election year pertaining to the current marijuana laws and changing them. I encourage all those who vote to pay special attention at the ballots this year, and keep in mind that your vote is private and for your eyes only. If everyone comes together we can help end this ridiculous ban on marijuana. Wake up world...open your eyes...embrace change...and remember that it is up to YOU to make things happen. ~OnElOvE~

Believe In Yourself

Sometimes in the course of our life we have to make decisions that are hard. Life is not black and white and there are no right and wrong decisions. Each mistake that we make is knowledge that we gain, each misplaced step is wisdom that can only come through failure. Others will not always agree with your decisions, or give you the kind of support you desire but as long as you are following your heart, you will prevail. When others see you empowered and making good choices it can be easy for them to discourage you, but not because you will fail, but because they do not want to see you succeed. Run from these people and don't listen to their words...you know what you are capable of, and the strength that is inside you. Block out negativity and keep focused on what feels right in your heart. Even if the road looks rocky ahead, hold your head high, secure your footing and keep pushing forward. You efforts will be rewarded as long as you stay true to yourself. Self doubt will creep into your mind at times but don't allow it to take over. Remind yourself that you are powerful, because you have the power of choice and the power to carve your own path. Believe in the power of yourself and your possibilities will be infinite. ~OnElOvE~

Keep The Faith

Sometimes it is okay to pray for an angel come down and help lift you back up. We sometimes find ourselves in a dark hour...where what we long for and how to get there are so far apart that it seems that bringing them together would be impossible. When shadows have cast over us and the light is barely visible...reach out your hands and ask for help. It does not matter what your religion...just put your cry for help out there into the universe, for there is a possibility that an angel will hear your call. Sometimes the way off of the dark and stormy path is harder than navigating the path itself, but it is important to keep the faith, keep believing that eventually someone will help you onto the brighter path...where your feet can feel more secure and your mind more stable. Where there is light...there is hope...the sun always rises...so therefore there is always hope.

Which Path To Choose

Sometimes in life we make bad decisions, and for some of us our lives are almost entirely made up of a series of bad decisions. One bad decision leads into another one, and what we think  is the right thing to do is actually the wrong thing. It can be confusing. Now you may find yourself at your next crossroads in life...each path completely foreign that lies before you. Life doesn’t come with a road map and we carve our own paths. There are times that we happen to look up and realize that we are lost. We are no longer on that comfortable path that we once treaded so effortlessly, for it has turned into thick brush and loose gravel...much harder to navigate. Now you look around you, and you are free to flow in any direction you’d like. Look to the sky for your hopes, dreams and aspirations, but there is no golden staircase leading the way. To get there one must choose the right path, and thus the question remains...which way to go?

The Light Within You Child

I cry out to those children everywhere,
Don’t let go of hope and get lost in despair,
Look inside your soul for there is a light that makes you unique,
Reach down deep...and allow it to shine free.
I know life can be hard and dark some days,
Quietly watching your youth slip away,
Facing realities that you shouldn’t be child,
Let go of the burden and just be young for a while.
A loss of innocence by no choice of your own,
You never asked to be born into a broken down home,
But it is what it is and you step up to survive,
Doing whatever you can just to stay alive.
Some don’t understand for they’ll never be in your shoes,
Keep fighting child and refuse to lose,
Life has many paths and it is yours to decide,
Whether to follow in suit or step out from the stride.
Use the light within you to lead your way,
To help you to seek refuge in your darkest day,
Your experiences although painful will help you to grow wise,
Don’t let life beat you up and keep your dreams alive.
~OnElOvE~
~Lesley Ouellette

A Thank You to All the Veterans

Veteran,

There is so much power behind that word,

Because it's more than just a holiday observed.

It's a chance to say thank you,

To all who have fought,

Regardless if they signed up for war or not.

From mere boys,

Soldiers were made,

To protect, serve, and always stay brave.

And non of us could even imagine,

The horrors of war we can't even fathom.

It is important to remember,

That every vet has directly touched our life,

They are the reason we have peace,

And freedom of choice in our lives.

So take the time to say thank you,

When  you come across a vet,

We take so much for granted,

It can be easy to forget.

Veterans day for me,

Hits especially close to home,

Special thanks to my dad,

A Vietnam vet, my friend, and my hero.

~Lesley Ouellette

Veterans Day 2011

Keep Dreaming

It is important for us to have dreams...things that we aspire to do or be. Even if a dream is not exactly practical it is ok to still have it none the less. I have a dream and it might be a little far fetched but I will not give up on it. If I had $10,000 I would make my dreams come true by buying an older but running boat, ship it to Aruba, pay up a cheap apartment for 6 months and take tourists out on the boat snorkeling, tubing or just pleasure riding. In 6 months time I am pretty sure I could start a successful business and live humbly on the island that I love so much. With sunny weather, a constant cool breeze, turquoise waters and white sandy beaches what’s not to love? Of course this is only a dream of mine, but it is my dream and I like to imagine that one day it will come true. “Some may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” If people laugh at your dreams don’t get discouraged, just remember that there are plenty of people who took the chance and are living their dream right now.

The Day That I Died

People often ponder the meaning of life and what our purpose here really is. We are fascinated by the unknown and what can not be explained. The majority of people go through life wondering if there is something else...and if so...what it is. Afraid of death because death is the unknown...it is final. Most of the time. There are some of us who do not fear death because we know...we have been there and for whatever reason have come back. January 21st 2011 I died while giving birth to my son and was in a coma for 4 days from a condition known as an Amniotic Fluid Embolism. I have not looked at life the same way since. I am not sure if it was while I died or was in the coma but I am blessed enough to remember a little about my experience. There was not a bright white light like others have explained and my dead relatives were not there waiting for me. I was alone, yet unafraid and completely unconcerned where anyone else was, and instead of a bright white light I was surrounded by a soft yellow light. Like the soft yellow glow that the sun casts on the ocean as it is falling out of the sky...the carpet of heaven. Others appeared as I wandered around but I didn’t know them. While I was in this “other place” I could see myself in all different angles, through my own eyes or sometimes like I was a stranger watching myself. There were different times when I would say out loud, “I am going to pass out now, but it’s ok” and I would slowly fall to the floor and pass out. Then I would be there again. I went in and out of this “other world” many different times while my life literally teetered on the balance of life and death for most of the night that night. Since the chance of me surviving was about 1% at best the Chaplain was called to read me my last rights...but he never showed up! I have never been a religious person, but a miracle happened that night. I was shown that there is something else out there, and because of this I do not fear death, but I respect it. Maybe everyone’s “heaven” is different, I don’t know and will never pretend to know the answer. What I do know is that there is a light in each and every one of us and it has nothing to do with going to church every Sunday, or confessing your sins. It is a light that makes us unique, a light that forgives mistakes without asking for forgiveness. Practice love, patience and kindness in your heart and you will be rewarded. ~OnElOvE~

The Night

The sun slides down into the night
Away to rest her weary eyes
Shadows creep forward
Like ghosts dancing on the moon
Embers from the fire crackle and pop
Floating up towards the stars
As if they are trying to go home
A cool  breeze flirts by
Whispering the secrets of the night
To anyone who will listen
The sun peeks over the horizon
And winks at the moon
Stardust falls to the earth
Echoing like laughter on canyon walls
All is right
Good morning sun
Good night moon
Sleep well
         ~Lesley Ouellette

Things Happen For A Reason

Everything in life happens for a reason...
Sometimes the reason is not clear...
Sometimes it seems it will never be clear...
But we must learn to accept it and move on...
Trusting that time will eventually heal our wounds...
And teach us to embrace change with open arms...
Instead of resistance.
To constantly question why things happen...
Will only make us weak...
It is knowing and trusting in life itself...
That will keep us resiliant and forever changing...
To keep us forever strong.
                                            ~Lesley Ouellette

Refusing To Lose

Ask me to choose and I'll refuse to choose,
Refuse to lose,
Refuse to let my feelings be abused.
You ask me to stay but for what?
It's only raining.
And this emotional storm rollin' through my soul?
It's only paining.
I refuse to let you damage my heart,
So I think I'll end this before you start.
See I don't stick around...only to be put down,
So if i'm not feelin' it...
Peace out...imma bounce.
And your face?
Erased.
Your lovin'?
Replaced.
I'm speakin' from my heart,
Got no time to waste.

Forever Friends

Most people would agree that friends come in and go out of our lives freely as we grow older. Someone we might have once referred to as our "best friend" may be nothing but a distant memory from a past now almost forgotten. But that is not to say that the friendship did not serve its purpose in that wrinkle of time. Friends sometimes grow with you as you age, remaining steadfast by your side. There is something special that connects these friends to you for life, like a tattoo on your heart...they are forever with you. Whatever trials and tribulations life throws your way, your forever friends will always be there to help carry you when you are weak and feel like giving up. They are your shoulder to cry on, will fight by your side, will make you laugh when you are sad, will lend a sympathetic ear, give you honest advice and will point you towards the light when your path has become too dark. They do not have to be physically in your life for you to feel their love and years can go by without speaking...only to have a conversation as if only minutes have passed. Feel blessed that these friends are in your life and take the time to show them how much you appreciate and love them. It is easy to get caught up in life and take the little things that we do for each other in kindness for granted. True friendship is a gift that should always be treasured and held close to your heart. Friends are the light that brighten our day, some lights may fade out but some will always remain.

Ghetto Cowboys

I wrote this piece for all the young thug niggas...out there dying for no reason...keep this with you... ~OneBlOoD~OnElOvE~

I sit and contemplate life as it seems,

All these muthafuckas doin' all these evil deeds,

I try to ignore...pretend it don't exist,

Watchin' young G's takin' unnecessary risks.

Runnin' they mouths to who?

They don't know.

Takin' a bullet for some chump change dough,

Packin' a pistol...walkin' down the street,

In their eyes a fire you see.

Don't give a fuck cuz they ain't got nuthin' left,

They thinkin' they above death.

Ghetto cowboys runnin' these streets,

Gonna live, eat, breath...die like a G,

They play by the code,

What else? They don't know,

Robbin, thievin, stealin', packin' heat, and selling blow.

One foots in the cradle,

The others in the grave,

Listen up young G...ya life you need to save.

Don't waste ya time...hustlin' a violent beat,

And keep ya eyes open...to the company you keep.

It's alright to do ya own thang,

So chill on ya grind to  be the ghetto king,

Cuz you need to keep breathing...to live ya life son,

You still a lil' G...Life's only just begun.

                                                   ~Lesley Ouellette

Chasing Lost Dreams

I've been shattered and displaced,
A life lived...but in haste,
I always choose the hard road, hard-nosed,
Gotta see for myself, that's the way I roll.
I chase dreams that end up nightmares,
And they take me from here to there,
Never leaving me in a place I feel safe,
Time slips by...I look back...it's erased.
Dreams are lost, through my fingers like water,
Sprinkled on roots that won't grow any farther,
And here I stare, at a new sun rising,
Terrified of whats on the horizon,
And the wind whispers, "Take time to smell the roses."
But my mowers gone mad and I'm just running shit over.
Life is a force...that goes forward...never back,
But I can't seem to walk it without debris in my path.
I used to be strong...but I've been ripped down over time.
Now it's time to get up girl...
There's no fucking rewind.
                                             ~Lesley Ouellette

Enjoying The View

An asteroid the size of a city block is going to pass by earth this Thursday. Although there is not really a risk of it crashing into earth it made me start thinking about how relatively small we all really are. In our own minds I think we sometimes feel that we are larger than life, but in all reality we are but dust in the universe. Appreciate the time you have here and take time to slow down and take in the view. There is beauty everywhere, but if you are too busy you will miss it entirely. It is easy to take this life for granted, yet the very next moment is not guaranteed.  The last thing you want to do is look back and think to yourself that you wish you had taken more time to enjoy the simple things in life. The smell of fresh cut grass, the beauty of a full moon on a clear night, a vibrant sunset, the simple and wonderful sounds of nature. Hug your loved ones a little bit harder next time you say goodbye, and give yourself permission to slow down and enjoy the view.

Shout Out To All The Cool People

I just want to give a shout out to all the cool people out there. The people who walk through life without judging others and always keeping an open  mind. Who aren't afraid to meet the world with open arms and open hearts. Here is a shout out to the people who hold the door for strangers, give up their seats to their elders, are kind to all they meet regardless of social status, who take the time to understand others struggles and are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in. You are the salt of the earth, the ones who make the world a better place. The people who value and understand the impact that their ways have on others are those who are truly gifted and rich in life. Shout out to you...keep positive and keep on touching the world. There are people who really do appreciate all your silent efforts. 

Please Stop The Pity Party People

I am tired of people complaining about their circumstances but taking no action to change the situation. If you are unhappy with something in your life then change it. If you do not like where you live...move, if you do not like your job...find a new one, if you do not like your friends...change them, you feel me? Change does not always come easy for everyone and it can take time and some actual effort, but it is absolutely possible if you really want it bad enough. Too many people just sit around talking shit and complaining but never do anything about it. As if they are waiting for a golden ticket to fall from the sky to instantly make their dreams come true. Wake up people...real change comes from within and you will end up wasting your entire life waiting for your golden ticket. You can not expect to be given everything in life, you must learn to earn it on your own. There is much more satisfaction in knowing that you earned something that you really wanted rather than having a hand out. Everyone has had their own personal struggles in life and you can not tell by looking at someone what their struggles have been. So before you go complaining about how terrible your life is and how it will never get any better, think about what others have been through. Convert the energy you use to complain and feel sorry for yourself into energy that can make change happen. If you just take a second to slow down, you will see that life is a lot more simple than you imagine it to be.

What's With All The Rules?

I just learned that there is a town in Massachusetts that has recently passed a "no swearing in public" law which gives the police the authority to give out tickets for profanity...seriously? What happened to Freedom of Speech? It is only one of our Constitutional Rights, so important in fact that it is the very first amendment.  I feel like this is wrong on so many levels. Little by little they are taking away our freedoms and it seems as though everyone just sits back and watches it happen. It might not be very polite but if I want to tell someone to fuck off in public I should be able to without fear of being persecuted. What ever happened to common sense? It seems as though there is a law for everything nowadays.  As though we are incapable of making decisions about our own lives and well being. Is it that people are just too lazy or wrapped up in their own worlds that no one is paying attention to what it going on all around us? Conformity is for the weak minded and those of us who realize that are much better off. I myself will never conform to the whack ass rules and expectations that society tries to force on me. I am not a robot...I am a free-thinker. I have my own spirit and I will never change.

Don't Give Up On Love

My good friend said to me once...mi ta amor di halanan di angel,expresa den melodia nan fluido,cu emocion nan puro. This translates to...I am angel-wing love expressed in fluid melodies of the purest emotions. It is a beautiful metaphor but there is a sadness in his voice. To my friend I say...Love is a powerful thing, but it takes two to make it work. Never feel as though your life has been wasted waiting on a love that will never grow, the greatest gift is that you have felt true love, which many never experience. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, and this saying still remains true. Be grateful for the love that you have felt and a friendship that has grown over the years with the one that your heart desires. Do not penalize yourself for past mistakes and bad relationships...learn from them and use them to help you grow. There is someone out there for you and your destinies will collide, and when it happens nothing else in this world will matter. Don't beat yourself up and don't give up on love....your time will come. Don't spend your life chasing the ones who will not give you their whole heart back...because you just might miss out on finding one who will. I say to my friend...tene fe dushi i no give up den bo sonjo nan sonjo nan ta liguido i nunca cambia...nunca lubida esei. Which translates to...keep the faith dushi and don't give up on your dreams...dreams are liquid and ever changing...never forget that. Keep your head up and keep putting your positive energies out there. Mi ta sinti bo falta dushi <3

Push Back Against The Negative Energy

Life is not perfect and you are almost guaranteed to encounter negative people while you are on your path. You know the kind. They are always negative, looking at the worst in everything and trying to knock everyone around them down to their level. Each and every one of us is different...our spirits make us unique. We are all made of the same parts but each of us has something special inside of us that makes us who we are. We have the power to make decisions and think for ourselves. No one can make you unhappy but yourself. To give someone else control of your happiness is a powerful thing. You do not have to succumb to the negative energies around you. Rise above them and stay true to yourself. Feel pity for those who are not happy within themselves, but do not let them bring you down. Stay strong and rolling on the positive vibes...leave the negative energy behind you. This is the way to true happiness. ~OnElOvE~

When You Find True Love

Have you ever met someone and the connection was so strong it almost knocked you off of your feet? Like you have known each other in a past life, or are anything but strangers to one another? To find the one that you can completely lose yourself in, yet still feel whole is a powerful thing. It seems as though we go through life blindly searching for for love and when it finally hits us it catches us off guard. If we are not awake it may pass us by as quickly as it came. But, if we are lucky enough to realize what is happening and seize the moment we will find true happiness and self fulfillment. Finding that one who moves you and you can't stand to be without is rare and should not be ignored. Sometimes life puts obstacles in our way but obstacles are only meant to slow you down, not stop you entirely. If you really believe in something strong enough then there is no mountain too high nor sea too far to keep you from your hearts desire.  ~OnELoVe~